New Year, New Me.
‘Resolutions’ – A Prayer for the Narcissistic.
New year’s resolutions are jovial and almost never fulfilled. So why does one feel like a failure come February when they haven’t finally started jogging? [Fuck jogging first of all].
The new year inspires a shedding of one’s former self and makes room for the born-again goal setters. (I shouldn’t suggest that goal setting is inherently bad – because it is not). The issue I have however with ridding last year’s self, is again, the feeling of failure. As mid-February arrives along comes an annual sense of disappointment.
For me, this disappointment looks like a lonely settlement of blackboy plums that lay in the bottom of the fridge. The fridge plums had been a product of my spending $93.00 at Moore Wilsons on organic produce [because uh health queen goals]
Had I kept this resolution the fridge plums would have been cold and sweet. Had I eaten them one hot, late-January afternoon as I had intended, they could have dripped from my mouth and stained my fingers red. They would have been delicious. But now, mid-February the fridge plums have excreted spoiled plum ooze which has likely stained the bottom of the fridge. The skins have all wrinkled and the stems wilted. The fridge plums are a merciless reminder of my own lack of self will. Mid-February feelings of failure - the ‘fridge plum phenomena,’ if you will, is a repercussion of 21st century social culture and the way in which it demands a constant desire for a “greater” way of being. That is, we are encouraged to set goals, upon goals, upon goals. When expectedly one does not achieve all of their goals, they are faced with litany of disappointments. I say ‘Expectedly’ because - to run the risk of writing a cliché: humans are innately flawed. And as it happens, I quite like smoking, and carbs and not jogging!© Yet New Year after New Year I still vouch to quit, cut out and take up. Therefore, I am proclaiming that in 2021 resolutions as we know them (unkept or otherwise), are 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑒𝒹.
This year, in light of the events of 2020 it feels especially vital to not wish away the previous year. While It may feel tempting to put 2020 into a box and lock the key, it’s important that the pandemic is not disregarded. Especially so, by New Zealanders who for many of us are privileged enough to in 2021 revert back to “normal” life. At the centre of any reflection there is change. The pandemic has created ample opportunity for changes perhaps more significant than the usual, “save money”, “live each day to the fullest” or yes, “taking up jogging”. Instead, 2021 facilitates tolerance of both ourselves and of others. This year we’re saying goodbye to resolutions and the feelings of failure that accompany them. Instead, we’re welcoming reflection, sensitivity and acceptance. <3 <3
lol sorry to joggers everywhere.